At the Tearing of the Void....
14 years ago
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5 comments:
this is my version of jack and the beanstalk:
Jack and the Spacestation
Once upon a time (now), there was an american kid named Jack. Jacked liked shoplifting. Whenever he saw something he wanted on TV, he would walk to the nearest store and shoplift it. The only thing he couldn't get by shoplifting was a spaceship.
One day he was walking to the store playing a DS he shoplifted because he saw an add for a motorcycle (he was very good at shoplifting, so he would be able to get the motorcycle). A homeless guy suddenly jumped in front of him.
“I'll trade you these magic acorns for that DS!” he said.
“What do the acorns do?” asked Jack.
“You throw them in your car's gas tank, and it turns into a spaceship,” the homeless guy said.
Jack grabbed the acorns and left the DS on the ground. He ran all the way back home and threw the acorns in his mom's car's gas tank. Nothing happened. He waited a whole 10 MINUTES and still nothing happened. Jack decided the homeless guy had lied, so he went back to the store to get another DS. When he returned, the car was gone and there was a spaceship sitting in the driveway. Jack immediately got into the ship and turned it on.
“I am on autopilot,” the ship said. “I will take you to the Jupiter Spacestation.”
Jack had never heard of a spacestation at Jupiter. But the spaceship had already flown halfway there, so Jack waited. The spaceship docked at a spacestation that seemed to be scaled up compared to the top-secret imaged Jack had pirated.
“We are at your destination, sir,” the ship informed Jack. “I will be on an autopilot course to earth when you return.”
Jack went into the spacestation. In his spaceship, there had still been gravity because of the gravity generators, but there was none in here. He began jumping around and banging into the walls while trying to do flips. He eventually banged and bounced his way into a room filled with iPods. He had already shoplifted one, but these iPods were different. They were about three times bigger, and when he turned one on, he found they could each hold 9,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 songs. Jacked grabbed as many as he could hold, he planned to sell them when he got back to earth. He went back to the spaceship and dumped them in.
“Will I be able to return here?” he asked the ship.
“Of course, sir. As many times as you like,” the ship replied.
Jack decided to explore some more. Just as he passed the room full of iPods, he heard a booming voice:
“FE FI FO FID, I SMELL THE STENCH OF AN AMERICAN KID,
BE HE THIN OR BE HE FAT, I'LL GRIND HIS BONES TO FEED MY CAT!”
Jack ran back to the spaceship. “What was that voice?” he asked.
“That was the giant that lives here. He has a cat as big as you.”
Jack went back to earth and sold all the iPods. It took him a whole five minutes to decide that he liked the money enough to go back even though he was scared of the giant.
Upon his return, Jack ran back to the room of iPods. Then he decided to look around more before he took the iPods. He continued down the corridor and came to a fork. There was a giant sign saying DO NOT GO LEFT.
Jack went left and fell into a giant garbage heap. After getting himself out, he turned right. Ahead, there was a giant 20 foot high door with a flap the size of him at the bottom that he guessed was for the cat. There was a sign on the door that said THE GIANT'S ROOM-DO NOT ENTER.
There was also a hallway going off to the right of the door. Jack thought about entering the giant's room, but he decided not to because it might have a garbage pit. He went into the hallway which had a bunch of doors. There was also a door at the end. He went into that door. Inside, Jack found a regular sized laptop that looked completely normal except for a big red button that said REPLICATE and some smaller red buttons by it that said x1, x2, x3, x4, and -x1, -x2, -x3, -x4. Jack pressed the REPLICATE button, and an exact copy of the laptop appeared by the first one. After messing around for a while he found that the other buttons control the size of the copy. All the copies had the REPLICATE button on them. Jack took the original just to be safe, and headed back for more iPods. As he was passing by the giant's room door, he heard the same voice coming directly from inside it say:
“FE FI FO FID, I SMELL THE STENCH OF AN AMERICAN KID,
BE HE THIN OR BE HE FAT, I'LL GRIND HIS BONES TO FEED MY CAT!”
Jack ran back to the ship and grabbed some iPods on his way. After selling many laptops and iPods, Jack decided to go back one last time to see if there were any better things. Once he got back he went directly to the giant's room and peeked inside the flap. There was an 18 foot tall giant sitting in a chair snoring loudly. There was a big orange cat the size of him sleeping in a different chair. On a table was a large box that said DO NOT OPEN.
Jack climbed onto the table and pulled the box open. Inside it, he found two things. The first was a hand sized piece of plastic that said PRESS THIS BUTTON TO BLOW UP THIS SPACESTATION. The second was another piece of plastic that said PRESS THIS BUTTON TO FIX ALL THE PROBLEMS THE WORLD HAS EVER HAD. Jack wasn't sure which one to take. He sat there. And sat there more. And more. Then some more. Then, to the sound of the giant's juicy snoring, Jack decided he liked the world better the way it was, with all its problems, and took the detonator.
As Jack was climbing down the table, the cat woke up and saw him. It immediately ran onto its master's face, and scratched him till he woke up. The giant saw Jack and what Jack was holding and said, “Good choice. You should probably get out before you press that.”
As Jack stood there trying to figure out what happened, the giant got up and carried him to his ship. As he flew away, the ship asked, “What did he say to you?”
“He said 'good choice.'” said Jack.
“Then you should press the button,” the ship ordered him.]
“Why?”
“It is what everybody who gets magic acorns does.”
After thinking for a few minutes, Jack decided that the giant was mentally unstable and pressed the button. He could see the explosion behind him. When he got home, Jack continued his life normally, and thought of how he liked it when the police chased him, and how he liked having to get past the store employees, and all the other challenges of his life. Jack lived happily ever after.
The End
I approve of acorns. Cool story.
can you sell me free doughnuts on my blog?
Perhaps.... O.O
buy acorn! brand doughnuts!!! zero trans fat!!!
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